Family,  Lifestyle

Marriage Q+A

Today I’m sharing a marriage Q+A with you guys! Kendall and I have known each other for a little over eight years and we have been married a little over three, so we are by no means marriage experts. But, we thought that it would be fun to give you a peek inside our marriage. Let’s get to it!

What has surprised you most about marriage?

Kendall- I guess it’s not entirely specific to marriage, but maybe how repetitive things are. I know I’m where God wants me, but when I look back on what I previously imagined, it just wasn’t as ritualized. I guess the parts I had never thought about are what stand out the most.

Jessa-I guess it’s surprised me how much strategic planning it takes to get a date night in! haha. No, but seriously. Kendall and I both love people and we enjoy helping others but we have to slow down from our crazy schedules once in a while and make sure that we are getting some quality time together. I have seen how much better we are for it and it will always be worth it to me to invest in my relationship with him.

What’s it like living with the opposite sex?

Kendall-It’s like learning a whole new way to be human; skincare, haircare, body rhythms, mannerisms, conversation points. It’s all different. But, obviously, I don’t participate…usually.

Jessa-It’s awesome! Kendall is pretty easy going. My biggest fear was that he would be messy but he has become really good at picking up after himself. I got pretty lucky. 😉

What’s worth fighting over?

Kendall- Sometimes fights are worth it when it refines values, lets us better understand each other, or if we press through until we’ve found roots, not just symptoms. It’s not always easy.

Jessa– I think things that have a lasting impact. If it’s not going to matter in a day, or month, or even a year then I don’t need to get worked up over it. Not to say that I still don’t get worked up over things, but I have to constantly check myself and ask the question, “does this really matter and will it matter in the future?” The things I do think are important to fight for are, time together, our goals, and an exceptional marriage. I always tell Kendall, “I don’t want to settle for just an “okay” marriage, I want to work hard to have an exceptional marriage.”

What makes marriage worth it?

Kendall– Having a person that is growing with you, who will never leave you, and will fight for the version of you that God wants.

Jessa– Wow! So many things. I think that knowing that you get to grow old with someone that loves you unconditionally, even after they’ve seen the good, bad and ugly. I also love the fact that I get to learn and grow with someone else. It’s nice having a teammate that is not only cheering you on but is also right beside you ready to take on the challenges of life.

A memory you still laugh about together?

Kendall– There was this time that Jessa had begged me to participate in her “spa night”, I said yes. Later, I stepped out on the back porch with my three inches of hair in ponytails with some kind of sea mud drying on my face. I said “hi” to my neighbor before realizing the sight he was seeing. I came back inside to Jessa losing her head. We laughed together for at least 10 minutes, and to this day it makes us laugh way more than it should.

Jessa- Okay, I just want to point out that I never said anything about Kendall doing face masks with me. He openly admitted it! haha. Also, I don’t usually do this, but I’m going to have to say the same memory. We still laugh about it to this day and I think it was so funny because Kendall completely forgot that he had a mask on his face and he stepped outside and started casually talking to our neighbor. I died laughing, actually, we both did. I will never forget it.

Favorite thing to do for date night?

Kendall-Sushi, a walk, and a movie.

Jessa-Really and truly anything. As long as I’m with Kendall and all distractions are aside. But if I had to choose the perfect date night, we would start off by cooking dinner, then we would go on a hike and end the night with either a movie or a good book. I like simple things and honestly spending some unplugged time at home is my favorite.

The thing you love most about each other?

Kendall-What I love most about her is her ability to stick to her commitments, her self motivation, work ethic, and perseverance. She aims high and seldom misses.

I also love the way we laugh together. It’s not every day, but when we do. Wow. It’s a great time.

What I love most about us is the way we see the world differently. We haven’t been able to make much from our differences yet, but we have started surrendering to each other’s strengths in small ways. Her strengths make me a vastly better person. I hope mine has had a similar effect on her.

Jessa– When I first met Kendall, I saw so much gold in him and I knew I had hit the jackpot.  He is one of the most genuine guys I’ve ever met.  He has a huge heart for helping others and he has the ability to walk up to anyone and become friends with them instantly. Another thing I love about Kendall is his willingness to learn.  There have been so many times that I’ve watched him go into something that he knew nothing about and he just gets to work and starts learning. He is also extremely patient and persistent and I highly admire both of those qualities.

What is your love language and is it hard having different love languages?

Kendall– Words of affirmation. She’s quality time. Keeping love tanks full is real work for both of us every day.

Jessa– I’m quality time hands down, I soak up every minute I get with Kendall. His love language is words of affirmation. I sometimes forget how important words of affirmation are to him because it is at the bottom of the list for me. Since our love languages are different, we both have to make an effort daily, which is good.

Something you would love to do together in the future?

Kendall- Sheesh, so many things. Raise kids. Go to New Zealand. Start and run a business. Go to a 3rd world country and see real needs. There’s a lot I want to do, but I guess the most important thing, is to listen and obey whatever God asks. Ready, set, go.

Jessa- I really like this question. I’m always thinking about things I want to do with Kendall both in the present and the future. It’s probably the planner in me. 😉 Running a business and raising a family together are both at the top of my list. I’m also a huge advocate for travel, so definitely seeing more of the world.

Thanks for reading! Kendall and I enjoyed answering these questions and I hope it gave you a better look into our marriage. If you’re married, what are some things that have surprised you most about marriage? Or, what are some things that you’ve had to work on together?

Let me know in the comments below!

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